Demonology and Heartache
by atr0cities
Summary: I was listening to "Demonology and Heartache" by Atreyu and this came in mind. Enjoy. T for themes Please review or a will eat you. :


**I'm bored and this came to mind. I've always wondered… Besides her dead parents, what if Lisbon had a dead lover she still mourned for… And no, not Bosco, someone else… I don't own the song "Demonology and Heartache" I do not own Jane or Lisbon.**

"_**So unaffectionate, so insecure  
You claim to know a thing or two about heartache  
And what it's like to have your insides torn out  
And I believe you  
I see it every time your pallbearer's pallor is obscured  
By the darkness dancing across your face  
And when the blackness veils your eyes in pain"**_

He lay on his couch, waiting for everyone to leave. They all told him goodbye, and he responded by nodding his head as if saying, 'Thanks.' When he felt his presence cleared, tears slowly rolled down his cheeks _Today would be her 13__th__ birthday_. He thought. _We were going to have a wondrous celebrate until that bastard had to kill them both._ He winced at the cold, bitter memory. Tears slipped down from cheeks and dropped right on the floor. That's when he heard a cry. It startled him. It was a feminine cry. He looked around and saw that Lisbon was still in her office. Something was different though. He looked at her closer and stopped at her crimson ringed eyes. _She was crying. _He thought. _Teresa Lisbon was actually crying._ _But why? She is a strong woman. Maybe mourning a death? Mourning a death, yes but whose? I know she moved on with her parents… _He got up off his couch and went into her office. He knocked on the door, he needed too. "Lisbon? Are you alright?" She jumped a little at his sudden presence and wiped her eyes. She got up and got her stuff. "I'm great!" she pretended not to be depressed. "I'll see you tomorrow." She hustled herself out until he grabbed her wrist. She turned. "Let go."

"Something is bothering you. What is it?"

"Nothing!" she snapped. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around. He looked into her eyes. _The eyes of a dead lover. She had the eyes of a dead lover. _ He thought. "It is something. Tell me, you will feel better."

"_**I know what it's like when memories make you wince  
and love letters read like obituaries  
and photo albums are the books of the dead  
I need no reminders  
No more reminders  
I'll forget the past and lay it to rest"**_

She stared into his blue gray haze for eyes and sighed. "Fine." Her voice got hoarse as she felt it welling up inside. "I was a paramour…" She broke down turning away from him. He wasn't that shocked. "I had a feeling." He said at last. She let go of his hand turning to go but he stopped her again. "I know how you feel. I lost my wife and child. Today was supposed to be her 13th birthday. And guess what else?"

"What?"

"Robert Smith lied. Boys do cry."

She gave him a synaptic smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He nodded and sat on the couch. "Who was you're… "Paramour?"

She couldn't look at him as she spoke. "Andrew Wagner. He was a great man. But, with my luck…" she paused. "He was murdered." Her voice raged. "I never thought that this would have happened. He meant everything to me, and then he was just taken away from me. Was I not meant to be happy in this world? Was I supposed to do? Deal with all this pain and then, let it go, pretending it never happened? Am I here as to play around with? I never had anything special happen to me that I liked. Everything was cruelty. Am I getting avenged on? Am I taking in the revenge and punishments for my father and what he did? No, I shouldn't blame it on him. I should blame it on myself and my screw ups."

He felt a little in a haze. He was amazed by her speech.

"Please don't think that. You're not what you think you are; you are 12 times better. You are not a screw up. You are not the one getting blamed for. It's life, Teresa. It just happens. I will always be here for you. And you know I will be."

"No you won't. You just don't get it, do you? Everyone has a death. You won't always be there for me. If I'm dangling off a bridge, there will be a small chance you could save me. So don't try to cheer me up if you have to lie about it." Her words sliced through his already bruised hear. She got up, sick of the discussion. "Goodbye." She said over her shoulder as walked out of the building, leaving Jane in a heartbroken state.

"_**If I had my way I'd cut the calluses  
Off your breaking heart  
If I could get past the sternum  
Cauterize those wounds with every kiss I could give to you  
I'm holding your heart in my hands  
The reason it still beats!"**_


End file.
